Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail
Windsor, Ontario, 2017: It is the same for most people and it is repeated year after year. Every New Year 90% of all people set some sort of New Year’s resolutions. Yet, 92% of those resolutions will fail and here is why. Shooting for the moon can become so overwhelming and stressful that success seems too far away. In these cases any progress short of your goal is looked at as failure. Therapist Rick Saruna of Body and Mind in Windsor, Ontario calls this, “The Mind Trap.” Abandoning a goal or a resolution that is a struggle releases a person from the feeling of failure since they are not actively trying. It is a way of justifying a negative behavior with a behavior that subconsciously is perceived as less negative. Subconscious expert Rick Saruna says, “The thought is if you are not trying you are not failing.” The most common New Year’s resolutions or goals people set are for weight loss and to quit smoking. These two goals are set by many each and every New Year. Yet by the end of January these goals are abandoned and old behaviors are resumed. However, they can still be achieved if done properly. In order for goals to be achieved they need to be more specific, realistic and attainable. This is true especially of someone that has been trying repeatedly for the same goals without success. A determined and motivated person can go for their goal and attain it. Determination is decided by motivation. Motivation is determined by belief. Belief if determined by previous success. So if a person has experienced failure in the past the chance of success in the future will drop significantly. The key is to set smaller and more obtainable goals because success will breed success. The important thing is to see each step as an achievement to motivate to the next step. Clinical therapist Rick Saruna who specializes in weight loss and quit smoking says, “When someone has a goal that is important to them and they are struggling, then they should seek a specialist to help them. This will keep motivation high, goals broken down in to steps and it will be done in a supportive environment. Then, you will reach your goals.” Rick Saruna is Clinical Director of Body & Mind, a Counselling and Therapy Centre in Windsor, Ontario. They specialize in helping people quit smoking, lose weight, remove anxiety and achieve their goals. They can be contacted at 519-948-0078 and at www.StressFree.net
Windsor’s Fulltime Hypnosis Practice
Body and Mind in Windsor in a fulltime therapy practice that is also Windsor’s top rated hypnosis specialist. Rick Saruna clinical director has trained in hypnosis for many years and has worked with 1,000s of people. Hypnosis itself is widely misunderstood and the results are almost magical although it is not magic. Hypnosis is a very natural and normal state that most people do not realize they slip into many many times throughout the day. It’s that place right before sleep although it is not sleep. People may look like they are sleeping but your mind is very active. Many people when they are hypnotized by a trained professional hypnotist may even wonder if they were actually hypnotized because it feels so natural. Everyone can be hypnotized that is willing. Yes everyone, although they say the smarter you are the easier it is to experience this deep relaxing state of the subconscious mind. So if you live in the Windsor, Ontario then Body & Mind can help you with just about whatever issue you would like to work on. For some it is stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety responds very well to hypnosis and the overall relaxation effect. Quitting Smoking and Weight Loss are probably the top 2 reasons people seek out hypnosis. We also combine weight loss and quit smoking with a laser process that makes an amazing increase in success. If you would like to lose weight or stop smoking we can help you. Rick Saruna is the area’s top hypnotists trained in clinical hypnosis as well as Comedy Stage Hypnosis. This type of comedy hypnosis is much different than stage show hypnosis. Many people think that stage show hypnotists are great in a clinical situation and this is just not true. Always seek someone that has strong clinical experience and has been trained properly. Rick Saruna has trained with some of the best over the years and now trains people to become certified as well. We offer Certified Hypnosis Training for those that would like to learn more to enhance what they do or perhaps even to change career paths. Hypnosis has actually been shown to get much quicker results than most other types of therapies. So if you are looking to create some changes in thought and also behaviours we welcome you to call us to book an appointment and see how hypnosis can help you. Call Body and Mind in Windsor Ontario at 519-948-0078 today!
Rick Saruna – Body & Mind Clinical Director
Rick Saruna is clinical director of Body and Mind in Windsor Ontario. He has been helping people since the 1990s with creating changes in thoughts, thinking and behaviors. Since he works with the subconscious he is able to create long lasting change at a deep level. Many people come to Body and Mind to see Rick Saruna for emotional issues such as anger, sadness, fear and guilt. These also include related physical issues due to stress, anxiety and even depression. The processes used by Rick Saruna involve his unique Rapid Emotional Release (a technique he developed) that works with lifting the stuck emotional issue. Many times without even having to talk about it until you are ready. Rick Saruna is also a Victim Services approved counsellor and works with some high profile trauma and victims of crime. His techniques work and they work in many cases quickly. The key is always finding the real issue(s). Rick Saruna is known for his no non sense approach and ability to see where the real issues are located. Body & Mind offers individual and family counselling for all issues. If you are not sure all you have to do is ask. Many health professionals use Rick because he is caring and compassionate and his experience is shown with his confidence when dealing with sensitive and emotional issues. Body & Mind clinic is also well known and respected for their Quit Smoking Program. The smoking cessation program consists of a unique process not offered anywhere else. It is Laser, Hypnosis and Support. Laser is a cool light noninvasive and relaxing as it actually reduces nicotine craving. We combine this with a therapeutic hypnosis process to help you change your thoughts of smoking. It I then supported with ongoing visits to make sure you are confident in your new nonsmoking lifestyle. Body & Mind is also well known for its Weight Loss Programs. It also is a combination of Laser and Hypnosis. The laser is similar to the smoking but different points are used to increase metabolism. Laser is done as needed the help stimulate metabolism and also helpful in removing sugar cravings. Hypnosis is then used to help create new points of reference and allow the subconscious to allow you to make the right choices. Hypnosis is calming and relaxing and is excellent in removing stress. So people report back how well they are sleeping and now feeling. Also it needs to be mentioned that anyone can be hypnotized that is willing to be hypnotized. Rick Saruna also does coaching and works with many top business people to remove stress and help them accomplish their goals. Corporate talks are available and demonstration of the mind will be demonstrated. If you are looking for personal training or for small groups we can accommodate you. This would also hypnosis training for anyone that is looking to become a hypnotist. Check – StressFree.net for more info or call Body & Mind – 519-948-0078.
10 Reasons Why You Need To Work on Your Marriage
It is no surprise that today many marriages end in divorce or separation. As marriage rates rise, so does the number of divorce and separation cases. In Canada alone, it is expected that almost one-third of Canadian marriages are dissolved before reaching the first 10 years. In other countries, divorce rates could reach up to 80%. While divorce or separation is common, it is not a good sight to behold especially to those who have strong family values. Worse, divorce or separation affects not only the couples but also their children, their families, friends, and even others. Below are some of the reasons why a couple needs to work on their marriage and settle their differences before ending up in divorce. Divorce is expensive. Ever wonder how much divorce in Canada cost? Some people can only speculate on how much a couple would be spending to dissolve their marriage. According to The 2014 Canadian Lawyer Legal Fees Survey, uncontested divorce costs from $920 to $1,739 with an average of $1,169. Contested divorce, however, costs $5,735 to $39,522 with an average of $10,406 depending on the duration of the case. These fees don’t include fees for Child Custody Agreement, Spousal Support Agreement, and Division of Property Agreement. Divorce is a long and tiresome process. A divorce process in Canada can take months or years to be finalized depending on the number of unique factors that can affect the process. A divorce will only be granted if a spouse has been separated from his/her partner for at least one year or has established one of the other grounds for dissolution of the marriage: adultery or physical/emotional cruelty. Once filed, an uncontested divorce may take four to six months, provided the paper work is completed correctly and submitted early. A contested divorce can span out for years before being finalized. The number of claims also determine the length of the process. Claims such as custody or access, support or division of property, can affect the duration of the divorce process. This means more hassles and court appearances. Divorce leaves negative impact on the children. When a couple decides to get a divorce, the most affected individuals are not the parents themselves. It’s the children. Most parents are not aware that children experience stress when they find out their parents “no longer love each other”. It causes fear, anxiety, and thoughts of rebelling against their parents.Children who grew up in broken families are more prone to peer pressure and vices. In a study in 2013 conducted by the University of Toronto to 19,000 Americans, it found out that: “Men who experienced parental divorce before they turned 18 had 48-per-cent higher odds of ever smoking 100 or more cigarettes than men whose parents did not divorce. Women from divorced families were also at risk, with 39-per-cent higher odds of smoking in comparison to women from intact families.” Children who have divorced parents are also prone to more serious problems like drug/alcohol addiction, sexual intercourse at early age, aggression, disobedience, misdemeanor, and in worst cases, felony. Divorce can lead to child custody battles. This may not pose as a problem for divorced childless couples but for those who have child/children, this is an ugly process. While most parents would settle for fair Child Custody Agreement, others won’t. Sometimes child custody is disputed. When this happens, child custody is given to only one parent, the parent with the means and fit to care for the child/children. This means that a child will experience the pain of growing up apart from his/her father/mother. The parent who lost child custody also experiences the same pain. Divorce can lead to division of property. In Canada, laws may vary from one province or territory to another. However, division of assets after dissolution of marriage is present in the laws of these provinces or territory. Unless a prenuptial agreement was established, the divorced spouses are forced to equally share the value of the property acquired during their marriage. This becomes a disadvantage to the person who worked more or spent more in acquiring the assets. Divorce creates more feuds. Divorce becomes uglier when the families and friends of each of the spouse get involved. When families or friends take side and hurl blame, the situation escalates to a point when differences between the couples can no longer be resolved. This is true among people with strong attachment to their family or friends. Family members or friends may drag other individuals into the dispute especially when the divorce was cause by infidelity. Divorce causes emotional problems. The emotional effect of divorce varies from one individual to another. While some divorced couples move on easily, others dwell on the trauma that divorce has brought them. This makes them angry, emotionally unstable, irritable, anxious, or annoying. This makes them lose self-esteem and self-respect. Divorce leaves you vulnerable to opportunist. While divorce causes a lot of defensive emotional effects like distrust, it can also result to the opposite. Some divorced individuals feel unloved and develop a need for affection from just about anybody who shows interest in them. Their low self-esteem make them disregard their self-worth. As a way of coping up with the grief of an unsuccessful marriage, they would easily believe any promise of companionship in their need to be loved. This allows plotters and gold-diggers to move in and take advantage of the lack of self-esteem of a divorced individual. Finding a new partner may be riskier than keeping your current one. Why? The answer is simple: you know your current partner better than the new one considering the time you spent with your spouse. Dating a new partner, especially someone you’ve just met, increases your risk of introducing someone worse than your current partner. It also increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Unless your new partner presents you with his/her latest medical certificate proving he/she is free from STD, there’s no other way to know the truth except having
Divorce: How It Affects The Children
In the previous article, we discussed about the 10 Reasons Why You Need to Work on Your Marriage. One of the major reasons mentioned on the article is the Negative Impact of Divorce on Children. This article concentrates more on the negative effects that divorce can cause to children including the cost of child support and ongoing legal bills. While divorce can leave married couples emotionally devastated and distrusting, the effects are more severe on the child/children. Most couples view divorce as dissolution of marriage. But for children, marriage is dissolution of family. Below are some of the common effects of divorce on children. Though some of the effects are short-term, without parental care, guidance or counselling from an experienced family counsellor, these effects will result of long-term effects that could aggravate the negativity of a child as he/she grows up. Fear and Guilt First direct effect of divorce on children happens even before divorce is filed by either one or both of the couples. Many children experience fear knowing that their family will be broken. After fear, guilt sets in. Some children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Children initially feel bad about themselves when they learn that their parents are constantly fighting. Though some parents don’t directly blame their children for their fights, the children assume that it’s all about them. As a result, children will feel responsible for what happens to their parents’ marriage. Anger and Hate Initially, a child will feel angry at the parent who initiated the divorce regardless of the reason. A child will then show sympathy to the other parent. But as the child grows up and learns about the reasons for the divorce, especially when both parents are at fault, anger may persist and lead to long-term hate against his/her parents. Bullying Children of divorce oftentimes become victims of bullying. Many children from non-divorced parents make fun of children who come from broken families or divorced parents. Since many children of divorce lose self-esteem, they become victims of intimidation, alienation, dominance, and harassment from other children. In other cases, children of divorce become the bullies themselves. It can be associated with the fact that children of divorce experience anger and guilt towards their parents’ separation that they find bullying as a way to vent out frustrations and stress. Poor Brain Development Many children of divorce experience stress early in life upon the divorce of their parents. They exhibit the feeling of neglect, emotional trauma over their parents’ separation, and depression. These factors negatively affect the development of the brain in social, emotional, and academic aspects. In a study conducted by The University of Wisconsin-Madison, researchers found out that: “…chronic toxic stress experienced early in life have lasting negative impacts on a child.” Sexual Promiscuity Various American studies have noted that children, majority are girls, from divorced parents are more likely to engage in early sexual behavior that those from non-divorced parents. A groundbreaking research of E. Mavis Hetherington published in her book Effects of Father Absence on Personality Development in Adolescent Daughters suggested that: “Daughters of divorced parents sought more attention from men and engage in sexual intercourse at younger ages compared to other girls.” Another study conducted by Billingham, R. E., Sauer, A. K. & Pillion, L. A. in 1989, Family structure in childhood and sexual attitudes and behaviors during late adolescence. showed that: “People, whose parents were divorced, were more sexually active, had a greater number of sexual partners, had trouble in establishing long-term relationships and had shorter and more numerous love affairs than those who had married parents.” (F. H. JoÂnsson et al.) Sexual Abuse Divorce contributes much to the number of child sexual abuse in Canada and the United States. Children, mostly girls, whose parents are divorced are in greater risk of sexual abuse by men, not their father, living in their home. Based in the previous effect, the need for male-attention of daughters of divorced parents makes them vulnerable to sexual abuse by their stepfathers. A random survey conducted by Diana Russell in 1984 showed that: “Girls living in non-traditional families have been found to be sexually abused by their ‘stepfathers,’ either the married, cohabiting or casual partner of a divorced or single mother, at six to seven times the rate girls are sexually abused by their natural fathers in intact families.” She surveyed 930 adult women in San Francisco and found out that: “7% or one of approximately every six women who had a stepfather as a principal figure in her childhood years, was sexually abused by him. The comparable figures for biological fathers were 2% or one out of approximately 40 women.” Smoke, Alcohol, and Drug Abuse The emotional trauma brought about by losing the family structure because of divorce can take a great toll on the children. Without parental guidance, children resort to what they see fit as a solution or escape from depression. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse or NIDA: “Risk of drug abuse increases greatly during times of transition, such as changing schools, moving, or divorce.” The overwhelming pressure of stress associated with the change motivates children of divorce to engage in substance abuse. Discontent in Life One of the major triggers of divorce is the dissatisfaction by one or both of the married couples in various aspects of their marriage: sexual, emotional, financial, social, etc. The children, however, experience far worse dissatisfaction than the parents who got divorced. The short-term effects, like fear and guilt, that children first experience when their parents divorce became long-term effects and lingered even as they grow up and have families of their own. In a divorce study conducted by Wallerstein in 1985, children of divorced parents were interviewed to determine how they felt when the marriage of their parents was dissolved.After 5 years, Wallerstein made a follow up and found the following results: Persistence of anger at the parent who had initiated the divorce. Intensity of longing for the absent or